


Mandy Milkovich, Accidental Matchmaker (Or Mickey's Not Getting Paid Enough For This Shit)

by joidianne4eva



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 12:07:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3326738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joidianne4eva/pseuds/joidianne4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If you want outside the norm I could hook you up with some friends of mine,” Ian offered with a sly smile.</p><p>Mandy must have caught it just as well as Mickey had because she narrowed her eyes, “What do you get out of it?”</p><p>“Your brother’s number,” Ian shot back immediately and the sound that Mickey made was somewhere between a squawk and a growl.</p><p>“The fuck you will,” he spat but neither of them was paying him any attention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mandy Milkovich, Accidental Matchmaker (Or Mickey's Not Getting Paid Enough For This Shit)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Farasha_nat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farasha_nat/gifts).



> As promised this fic is also known as 'Natalia losing her shit reading this' 
> 
> I actually did this before yesterday's episode so the topic of Ian's dick was not intentional. 
> 
> Not beta'd so go easy on me.

Mickey glowered at Mandy when the redhead she’d brought in shifted on the couch _again_ but Mandy was too busy beaming at the guy to notice him and Mickey couldn’t even fault her because the man was hot as fuck.

It didn’t help that he was exactly Mickey’s type either.

“Okay, sorry, I’m good now,” the man muttered, twitching again.

“It’s fine,” Mandy assured him, even though it wasn’t fine because Mickey had his own portfolio to be working on right now. The only reason why he was even here was because Mandy had conned him into filming her dumbass interview.

“You sure you’re alright?”

Mandy’s voice had Mickey’s attention switching back to the man who was now all but hunched in on himself.

“Yeah, it’s just…” he made a gesture towards his crotch and Mickey found his gaze following the motion only to snap away a second later when he noticed the all too familiar bulge at the front of the man’s jeans. “You didn’t tell me you’d be filming this.”

Mandy scoffed and her lack of reaction seemed to put the redhead at ease…at least a little, “Exhibition’s your kink?”

The man shook his head, “Not really…” he admitted, chewing his lip for a second before adding, “Though I’m pretty sure your cameraman is one of them.”

Mickey’s entire frame went rigid at that and Mandy snorted. “Oh yeah?”

“Short, dark haired, looks like he’d be one helluva fuck…definitely my type,” the redhead continued, his voice dropping into a register that had heat stirring in the pit of Mickey’s stomach as he warmed up to the conversation.

“Yeah, well, rein that shit in. That’s my brother you’re drooling over,” Mandy cut in.

The man straightened from his slouch, “Is your brother single?”

“Her brother wants you two fuckheads to hurry this shit up,” Mickey snapped, only to get a filthy smirk that said the man had probably noticed the way he was flushed, despite the lighting in the room.

“Alright, keep your fucking clothes on,” Mandy muttered.

“Or take them off, seriously I won’t mind,” the redhead added and Mickey flipped him off before adjusting the cameras when he moved out of the shot _again._

“So before we start I’m only keeping the transcripts from this so don’t worry about swearing and shit plus your name’s not gonna be in it at all. The only reason we’re filming is because I need info on your body language. That alright?”

The man nodded, his eyes flickering to Mickey again and Mickey had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like what that look meant but before he could comment, Mandy hurried on.

“Could you introduce yourself?”

“My name’s Ian Gallagher,” the man responded, all his restless motion melting from him as he focused on Mandy and Mickey took the chance to really look at the guy.

Ian was built like a fucking linebacker and Mickey was guessing that he was either a fitness freak or whatever the guy did for a living was hardcore because you didn’t get a body like that without work.

“And you’re in the army, right?”

That had Mickey’s brows hiking because that definitely explained the man’s physique.

“Yeah, went in when I was eighteen and eight years later I’m still there.”

“How is it, serving as a gay man?”

Ian shrugged, “It was hard at first, all that shit about DADT was good and well but it didn’t help the fact that I was living with a group of guys who could get pretty damn violent if they found out I liked other men,” Ian’s eyes narrowed here, his jaw tightening in a way that hardened his entire face. “Just keeping my mouth shut about it didn’t exactly help either but I made it work. I can’t say much about the repeal because I was out of regular rotation by then and the guys on my squad have got my back but it wasn’t pretty at first…didn’t think I’d make it this far.”

“So did you always know you were gay?”

Ian’s lips quirked up into a tiny smile, “Pretty much. Girls don’t do it for me…” he chuckled, glancing over at Mickey and Mickey scowled in response when Ian licked his lips. “My brother even made his girlfriend give me a blowjob once…it didn’t work, though you know, I wouldn’t be against your brother…”

“You can fuck right off,” Mickey cut in before Ian could get any further.

Ian just beamed at him, like saying that shit was normal.

Mandy coughed and Mickey was pretty sure that the bitch was actually laughing at him.

“What about relationships?” Mandy asked.

Ian shrugged, slouching further down onto the couch as he braced his socked foot against the stool, drawing the fabric of his jeans taut and Mickey kept his eyes on Ian’s feet to keep them from following the length of the man’s leg to where the outline of his dick was pretty fucking obvious.

“Had one with a married guy when I was younger but that’s it really…mostly I just hook up when I’m on downtime…” he paused here, his gaze roaming over Mickey from head to toe, “…haven’t found anyone much my type…at least I _hadn’t_.”

Mandy was definitely fucking laughing now and Mickey had a damn bad feeling about this shit.

“You know this is for my sexuality class, so I’m going to have to ask about sex,” she started again and Mickey almost tipped the cameras over.

“The actual fuck, Mandy?”

Mandy glowered at him, “What? It’s just audio porn,”

“Audio…are you fucked in the head, bitch? You didn’t tell me about this shit.”

“Because if I had you wouldn’t have come!” Mandy shot back.

“And that would be a damn shame,” Ian added sotto voce.

Ignoring the leering redhead, Mickey shot Mandy one last glare. “You’re gonna fucking owe me for this shit.”

“Whatever, Mickey,” she scoffed before turning back to Ian who’s grin was two steps away from the Joker’s by now. “So sex, what do you like, what do you hate? Basically tell me everything.”

Ian wrinkled his nose like he was thinking it over, “I don’t do sharing, no threesomes, no wives, that shit’s in my past and it’s staying there. Other than that I’m pretty open.”

“Top or bottom?” Mandy asked and Mickey choked on his spit.

“I’m versatile though I won’t lie and say I don’t like being on top,” he glanced at Mickey again, his lips hooking up into a dirty smirk. “It feels fucking great to hold a guy down and just go for it, you know? None of that holding back, shit, just fuck them until their eyes roll back. You know you’re doing it right when they can’t talk,” he whispered, licking his lips slowly as one of his hands dropped to his crotch. He palmed himself before pulling his hand away and Mickey was pretty fucking sure that if Mandy hadn’t been in the room Ian wouldn’t have stopped at just a touch. “I like it when they start making these noises like they want to say something but their throat isn’t working, that’s when you know you’re doing a good job and I’m real good at what I do,” the last seven words were a gravelly promise that had Mickey itching to adjust himself but he couldn’t not with the guy’s eyes glued to his groin. “Though having a guy ride me is good too,” Ian added, his gaze shifted to Mandy, like he hadn’t just fucked up Mickey’s head with a few fucking words. “Is that good?”

“Y-yeah, that’s…shit, that’s good,” Mandy stuttered and in any other situation Mickey would’ve been laughing his ass off but right now laughing was the furthest thing from his mind.

Mandy shuffled her papers around and Mickey kept his eyes on the camera even though he could feel Ian staring at him.

Eye contact was the last thing he needed right now when he had a mental loop of Ian’s voice playing in his head.

“Uh, so, kinks?” Mandy started and Mickey waited until the couch creaked signalling that Ian was moving again before he glanced at the man.

Ian’s brows were furrowed and when he tugged at his sleeves, pulling them up to his elbows Mickey got a glimpse of some ink peeking from beneath the fabric.

Jesus, it was like the universe was fucking with him.

“I’m not big on kinks so if you thought you were gonna be getting some Fifty Shades of Grey…”

The sound that Mandy made at that had Ian laughing and Mickey didn’t even have to look to know that Mandy’s expression probably wasn’t a pretty one.

Clearing his throat Ian sat up, resting his elbows on his knees. “But seriously, I wouldn’t say I’m kinky. Like I’d have sex in public but that’s more lack of shame than kinky.”

“Or you’re a fucking exhibitionist,” Mickey couldn’t help but add and Ian’s gaze narrowed in on him again in a way that had Mickey wishing he’d kept his fucking mouth shut.

“I’ve got no shame in my game, _Mickey_ ,” Ian drawled his name like he was tasting it and Mickey clenched his jaw to keep from licking his suddenly dry lips. “I mean as long as my partner’s down with it, why should I hide when I could be making the other guy jealous? Good looking guy like you should know all about that right?”

“Mickey’s pretty much a nun,” Mandy snorted and Mickey flipped her off because why the fuck was she baiting the guy?

“Really?” Ian’s voice was disbelieving and Mickey just shrugged when he met the man’s eyes. “That’s a fucking crime,” Ian muttered finally and Mickey glanced away because it wasn’t like he had guys falling over themselves trying to get with him. He had work and school; there wasn’t much time in there to go clubbing.

“So kinks, got any more?” Mandy called bringing the interview back on track.

“I’ll try anything twice,” Ian shrugged, “Or more than twice…” he waggled his brows at Mickey and Mickey snorted because the guy was fucking ridiculous…and hot, this shit just wasn’t fair.

Mandy pouted, “I really needed somebody who was into kinks. I’m trying to get a look at something outside the norm,”

“If you want outside the norm I could hook you up with some friends of mine,” Ian offered with a sly smile.

Mandy must have caught it just as well as Mickey had because she narrowed her eyes, “What do you get out of it?”

“Your brother’s number,” Ian shot back immediately and the sound that Mickey made was somewhere between a squawk and a growl.

“The fuck you will,” he spat but neither of them was paying him any attention.

“You don’t even know if he’s gay,” Mandy retorted and Ian smirked.

“Like I said, I’m good at what I do and he’s gay as fuck. He spent the first ten minutes staring at my crotch.”

“Ain’t my fucking fault you’re waving that shit around like the Eiffel Tower,” Mickey shot back and Ian leered at him.

“Wanna try and climb it? It’s free admission.”

“Fuck off!” Mickey hissed as Mandy cackled.

“Deal!” She called and Mickey snarled at her.

“Fuck no, no fucking deal,” Mickey protested but Ian was already on his feet.

“Don’t worry Mickey-mouse, I promise I’ll be gentle,” he called back as he grabbed his jacket.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Mandy!” Mickey growled as Mandy grinned at him.

“What? It’s for school!” she pointed out, “Plus you were the one staring at his dick.”

“My dick’s a national treasure so I don’t blame him,” Ian cut in and Mickey tugged at his hair.

“You know what? Fine, fucking fine…one date.”

Ian beamed at him, “I’ll be the perfect gentleman, I won’t even put out until the third one.”

“You’re real fucking full of yourself ain’t you?”

Ian opened his mouth but Mickey just narrowed his eyes at him, “One more fucking innuendo and I’m gonna knock your fucking lights out,” he warned.

Ian just grinned as accepted the scrap of paper from Mandy who was watching the two of them like they were the funniest shit she’d seen all week.

It was silent for a moment and Mikey could see Ian trying to hold himself back before…

“Looks like your brother’s kinkier than I am, I’d at least keep the violence out of it until after the first date,” Ian muttered, laughing as Mickey scrambled over the cables to get at him while Mandy cackled like a hyena in the background.

At least Mickey was sure that their date wouldn’t be boring.

 

 


End file.
